[ll cool j]

Yeah..

Yeah I like that guitar manyeah

Yo e-love I like the way you flipped that guitar man

Knahmsayin?  it was a good idea manknahmsayin?  yeah

It's kinda like freakin meyaknahmsayin? 

I wanna get hype manI wanna do thisyaknahmsayin? 

Just gon' chillcheck it out



Slick as vasolinesmell good as cologne

I'm like a muscle man in jail -- they leave me alone

I rhyme like supermanyou rap like jimmy olson

I break you like a bottle of green golden molson

You ain't a real rhymeryou look like a actress

How you gon' sleep on me holmesdo I look like a mattress? 

Am I that olddo I walk like grady? 

I'ma hundred-fifty proofsmirnoff is only 80

Don't you ever try to rock my house

I'm a real cool catknow what I'm sayin mickey mouse? 

The poetry specialistso take a dose of this

Now think about it -- can you really come close to this? 

You soft as powderweak as a cabin cooler

Ugly as work shoesmessin with the ruler:

The ultimate writer reciter and def entertainer

I work myself harder than a boxer's trainer



Chorus: ll cool j



Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

I saidclap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)



[ll cool j]

You end upunderneath my sneaker

You're dog doo-dooI'm watchin you get weaker

You can't believethe skill and dexterity

Ll cool jand the j is for jeremy

So buff mejames todd the earthquaker

That's right my brotheryou're goin out like sega

{*censored*} chewedso whassup dude? 

One of my battles'll get your girlies in the mood

Sucker mc's really make me sick

I'm so badI can suck my own {dick}

If you go to your girl's house and I'm there already

Don't go crazy cause my name ain't eddie

Rhymes so roughit's like a course in trigonometry

When einstein was talkinhe was talkin bout me

The prince of the earthand i'ma give birth

To a rhyme so hard you look soft as a smurf

Gigglin and wigglinso how we goin out? 

Lovelyand that's without a doubt!



Chorus 3/4x



[ll cool j]

Rappers are my servantsthey serve me like an emperor

When I'm throughyou'll need a nurse to take your temperature

And cool you downcause you're cold as leftovers

Not the ones on the tableI'm talkin about ruff rovers

You can't get over -- what's my namegoofy? 

You smoke I'm no jokeso my brother break out the looseys

And take a pullcause the buck stops here

I get swift as a magicianwreck {shit} and dissapear

Don't cross meor lose your loyalty

To the prince of the rap courtI'm royalty

And it ain't no puzzleit's a shame how rappers guzzle

Paragraphs I put together so I carry a muzzle

To shut em up and cut em up and make em be quiet

I'm a one man riotso don't even try it

The prince of special tacticsplus I'm athletic

Before you play your hand you better do some calisthetics

Jumpin jackssquatspush-upsthe whole nine

Speak your piecethen i'ma go for mine

And I guarantee youI'm gonna strike again

I recommend my friend you drop the pen and give in

Cop out to one rhyme cause you're facin ten

I ain't sidney poitier but we can 'do this again'

I'm nice wit minesand I gotta admit it

You don't really wanna battlewhy don'tcha just forget it!



Chorus 1/2



[ll cool j]

But if you're hard headed and you still don't understand

Here's a little sample -- ehm ehmmy man



*brrrrrrring* "hello? "

{*cut n scratch "cool j"*}

".. takes everything you've got" -> cheers (theme song)

{*cut n scratch "pushin a broom"*}

".. sure would help a lot" -> cheers (theme song)



[ll cool j]

Check my statshow we livinI thought so

I'm freshoh yesbut can they flowhell no

My rhymes are up to dateexcellenton point

I'm tellin youthey're the serious joint

I eat my steak fastI drink my brew slow

My voice is milky with a nice clear flow

I eat like a fat manand walk like a gigolo

I'm not a ballplayerso now y'know!



Clap your hands everybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)

Cause I rock the houseeverybody (aiyyo)

And everybody just clap your hands (aiyyo)



Knowhati'msayin?  and i'ma be straight til the year 3000

That's word to motherknahmsayin? 

And I say mother with a v cause the v is for victory yaknahmsayin? 

Cause I'm the victor in this gameword up

Knahmsayin?  that's what time it ispeace



{*crew applause*}



That manhe sure is funky funky funky

Funky! funkyhe sho' is!

You best believe he's funky!

You didn't know? ? ?  funky!